When I was a kid, I’ve heard a lot of stories about his sacrifices for the family. I was told that at one point he was the breadwinner of the family when my lolo was stricken by a debilitating illness that left him paralyzed. Being the eldest among the 11 siblings he suddenly became their father–responsible not only for making ends meet but also the problem solver and decision maker. I concluded that those stories were true when I saw how well-respected he was by his siblings.
Uncle Bebe makes things with his own hands and despite his introvert personality he was an enigmatic leader to his workers–they’re loyal to him. His main business was to make tools that are used in rice fields but other than that, he makes vehicles like jeepneys and minivans from scratch. No doubt that he’s the best in our area because his customers always come back to him for his business.
We live right across the street from uncle’s house and I always go to their house to play with my cousins. I always remember seeing uncle Bebe in his shop either making one of his mud-boats or talking to his customers and workers until late at night. I rarely see him relaxing inside his house. He’d even sleep in his makeshift room beside the shop. The guy loved his job, it’s what he knows and he’s very good at it. Along with raising his kids and providing for his own family, uncle Bebe was also supporting my grandparents, heck he even helped them build a concrete house! Hence, he has always been their “Mano” Bebe.
Then one day, at the break of daw, uncle Bebe decided to leave our province entirely, left his shop and family behind. He was gone for a couple of months, I believe. With him was couple of clothes, his minivan that he built from scratch and a couple of tools. The family was left in shock, he never left a note nor bid goodbye, he just left.
I think he decided to take a long-overdue sabbatical. For the longest time, I think, he wanted to feel the lightness of having no responsibilities–to be on his own, no deadlines, no due dates, no decisions to make. He just wanted to reclaim his own time, his happiness after years of sacrifice, pressure and constant anxiety of meeting expectations.
He then returned but not to his family because along with that decision to drop everything was to also leave his wife. His kids were grown-up, most of them graduated college and even started their own families.
He came back lighter but he somewhat became an outsider to the family. He kept his reasons for leaving to himself. I remember there were a lot of talks about him for having another woman. Some of his children were mad about his decision to leave them. But then again, he has his own reasons and he knew that his children as now self-sufficient.
However, uncle Bebe’s decision to leave and quit was all we can remember, it was tagged as a mistake that damaged his character, it forced him to stay in the shadows, to be less seen. He broke the rule our society has set to save himself and our vision was blurred by that single mistake we labeled him with.
We are biased to things we can remember and a mistake is easier to recall. This is the reason why a single mistake is heavier than the many right things that a person made over the years. Uncle Bebe and I never talked that much, part of it was because my mom and him wasn’t in good terms when he “broke the rule”, despite that, I still consider him one of the most creative and skillful people I know. May your soul truly rest, uncle/mano Bebe.